Trial of faith?

It's the end of Monday, and I have been the central metro office, the metro lost & found office, the police office, the EPFL lost& found and SV lost& found.

And I still cannot find my purse.

On top of that, I got ticketed on the metro today (the first time someone checked!) for not having a bus pass (because it was in my purse!) A 80franc ticket.... but it's only 10 franc if I find my monthly pass in 10 days.

And I also find out it'll cost me another 50 franc to replace my EPFL ID, on top of that other 50 franc I paid for the keys.

I know i know, the pattern here is the money. But the main thing is I feel like I keep on losing something. It's like...I can't hold on to anything. And this makes me very, scared.  And it makes me doubt, where is God, why is this happening to me...

I have been on the verge of tears several times today...and now my parents are again nagging me...

over the weekend, I thought I had peace, I thought the peace of God was with me, because I had hoped that I would have found my purse by monday when the offices open.  But today brings nothing but disappointment...

This verse has been repeating in my head today, as my mind struggles to convince itself that everything will be ok, that God is in control..
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I'll say it again, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4: 4-7

I guess the part I lack is "with thanksgiving". I cannot think of how to give thanks in this situation. Nevertheless, if anything, I learned that I need a deeper relationship with God. My faith is still young and shallow, my roots are not deep. I don't have enough strength to stand in the storm. I REALLY NEED GOD. 


My purse is in the hands of man... who are flawed and sinful. But all of our lives are in the hands of God, who is gracious and merciful.  Why should I worry?

time to pray