week2 and thirst of the soul

It seemed forever ago that we started medical school... while in reality it's just been 2 weeks of classes.  I have experienced many "firsts" in this new journey-

• first time cutting a real cadaver
• first time trying my best to pay attention in class but not been able to understand what the professor is talking about
• first time been in a class where everyone is brilliant and worked hard to be here
• first time I feel so overwhelmed by school 
• first time that school/studying seems to take up SO much time .. and even then it doesn't seem to be enough
• first time my body feels so tired everyday from school/studying/stress (?) 
• first time been in the same class as people who I consider good friends.. and not knowing how to build on the relationship
• first time putting on a "white coat"officially and wonder at its significance 

and yesterday, first time having insomnia (jet lag doesn't count) all night until this morning I finally fell asleep at 6am...

Maybe it's from all the excitement of the white coat ceremony, maybe it's because of mosquitoes/bugs or allergies, maybe it's caused by my late dinner after white coat ceremony, maybe it's my body's "fight or flight" response...

On the other hand, this morning received a call from parents who just went to Family day...  not the first time they have lectured me on "priorities", aka spending more time for study and physical rest, and put school above God/church activities.

Mind is still a little hazy, frustrated, overwhelmed, tired, confused, restless. all I know is that my body and soul longs for the Lord's goodness. This morning's devotional reminds me that God's gifts are seen more clearly when we are tired and thirsty. He gives us an oasis in dry and difficult places.

Psalm 143
My Soul Thirsts for You

Hear my prayer, O Lord;
give ear to my pleas for mercy!
In your faithfulness answer me, in our righteousness!
Enter not into judgement with your servant,
for no one living is righteous before you.

For the enemy has pursued my soul;
he has crushed my life to the ground;
he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.
Therefore my spirit faints within me;
my heart within me is appalled.

I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all that you have done;
I ponder the work of your hands.
I stretch out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord!
My spirit fails!
Hide not your face from me,
lest I be like those who go down to pit.
Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord!
I have fled to you for refuge.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God!
Let your good Spirit lead me
on level ground!

For your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life!
In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!
And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies,
and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul,
for I am your servant.